I was at our museum again this afternoon looking for old newspaper articles pertaining to Elba Central School for a project some of the students are working on. I came across a publication entitled Elba Central School Campus Crier. This issue is Vol. 5, Issue 2, dated October 6, 1941. Again, I don’t know who wrote it. Enjoy.

HOW WE LIKE GIRLS TO ACT ON A DATE

To you gals between the ages of 6 to 16 plus, this article is DEDICATED.  We’ll try to show you how we TERMITES like to have you act on a DATE.

Well, first of all, we’d appreciate a cordial welcome when we arrive at your house, instead of saying, “Oh, it’s  you.”  By the way, Sue, I didn’t like the way your brother answered your mother saying, “It’s that gigolo again, Ma.”  And Joan, will you please be ready when I call tonight, so’s your grandmother can’t catch me again to ask who my great-great-great grandfather was.

Say, Betty, I’ve been on this date fifteen minutes, and you haven’t even noticed my new tie.  We fellas like to be flattered  a little.  And don’t pick me up on my English, either.  Stop telling us how perfect Larry and John are, how well Tim can dance, and how much money Stephen spends on you.

Another thing, we sometimes are low on funds–can’t you share the same chocolate soda–we can get two straws.  Then you’ll learn to dance well–instead of riding on our foot–and roller skate, ice skate, swim, play football–anything–even take up boxing.

Are you girls still reading the article?  I’m devoting a few lines to that GREAT PROFESSION–PETTING.  But first, I’d like to mention that PETTING has been in practice for yars and yars.  Let’s take up the subject.  Being more of the L’il Abner type, I run away; but here’s for some of them that don’t.

Just imagine that you and your “Stuffod Date” had planned to go to a movie, and it started to rain.  Invite him in, girls.  No use letting him catch namonya.  He doesn’t need coaxing, ya’ noticed. Now he’s over near you on the divan.  Are ya’ all a-flutter?  To begin with, if he should start pettin’ and you don’t know what to do about it–tell the Termite you would like to hear a radio program.  Being a gentleman, he’ll turn it on.  If that doesn’t stop him, suggest dancing.  If that doesn’t stop him, take him out to the kitchen to the ice box, and feed him.  (All boys are less amorous when they are well fed.)  If that doesn’t stop him, pretend you have a headache.  And if that doesn’t stop him–”Gal, you is in a bad way.”